Stretchmarks are disgusting and I hate them with a passion, particularly the ones on my thighs which are now sending me into a spiraling panic that is rapidly leading to the decision never to wear a bikini or shorts again.

GO AWAY, UGLY SKIN SPIRALS. YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE. D=

Wow. I'm really turned on right now for absolutely no reason at all. I have old ladies coming for tea soon and I'm all blustery. Um. Awkward.

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eta: OKAY REALLY, CHEST BUTTERFLIES, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.